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spell for homunculi / songs of hydrangeas

to make an incandescent heart / for your homunculus / first put the loam in the gourd /
then the gourd in the ground / then bury yourself / nothing else is necessary / in your extinction
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++a garden blooms

could I make love with orchestra / instruments with blossoms / fruiting strings / a harp
++++++++++++++++++++++of mile high sunflowers / a garden you are /
a garden all yours /
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++can you sing / like a needing throat?

& in your garden bloom hydrangeas / antlers / necks of hydras / snapping at heaven & sun /
am I intricate monster / or animal
sunbathing / basking in a gorgeous / slowly extinguishing light /

my fingernails fill with you / freshly tilled triptych / ether earth & loam / my hair is combed
& I have never felt
+++++++++++++++++alive / I may break+++++++++++into cold lightning /

something that in the dark is visible+++++++++++something that on burning Earth
+++++++++++is a pittance of comfort

what zephyr goes dancing these days / into a toad’s open mouth / I ask what sings in the dark /
my eyes are toads / my mouth unknown /
echoes from the ocean deep / our misplaced wishes are kissing / drunken & sad again /

++++++before I eagerly disembody / admit

you are better than me / you are a nonexistent patch of geography / not even a map of you /

yet / yet
+++++++the solar systems / of our solar plexuses /
++++++++++pulsing to be pressed / undressed /

+++++++++++++++++++how can I love an earth that allowed me

& in the vast excitation / of blood heating skin / make storm constellations /
let fall from Andromeda dreams / every wish upon a miracle

star / the flowers of these hydrangeas / crave sun / not the massacre
++++++++++++++++++++++they are forced / to gorge upon

From the depths of the Midwest, Nicholas Alti’s writing is influenced by chronic pain/trigeminal neuralgia/invisible disability, depression, addiction, and an affinity for strangeness. He is an assistant editor for fiction and poetry at The Black Warrior Review.