Magic Johnson reads poems all day long.
Larry Bird selects a single poem and reads it fifteen times a day.
Magic Johnson will be in attendance at your book launch, “in the very front row!”
Larry Bird has not yet replied to the Facebook invite.
Magic Johnson is writing an essay for APR about five new poets and their first books.
Larry Bird only writes poetry.
Magic Johnson wants you to follow him on Twitter and will follow you back.
Larry Bird does not own a cellphone.
Magic Johnson knows every single word of Whitman’s Song of Myself.
Larry Bird knows every single word of Emily Dickinson’s 1,800 poems.
Magic Johnson loves talking to the waiters at Breadloaf.
Larry Bird wants you to drop off his food and not make eye contact.
Magic Johnson would be more than happy to write you a letter of recommendation.
Larry Bird replied “unsubscribe” to your email query.
Magic Johnson is putting together a workshop group for area writers this weekend.
Larry Bird is planning to walk in the woods this weekend and you are not invited.
Magic Johnson doesn’t much care for the work of Frederick Seidel.
Larry Bird has a photo of Frederick Seidel hanging above his desk.
Magic Johnson loved the way you compared the lake to your mother’s embrace.
Larry Bird thought your poem was a piece of shit.
Magic Johnson loves Audre Lorde.
Larry Bird loves Audre Lorde.
Magic Johnson will be publishing his fourteenth book next year.
Larry Bird refuses to publish until every word is perfect.
Magic Johnson is super excited for AWP this year.
Larry Bird has no idea what AWP is.
Magic Johnson reads almost everything that Larry Bird publishes.
Larry Bird reads absolutely everything that Magic Johnson publishes.
Magic Johnson is going to be the Poet Laureate someday.
Larry Bird will say “I don’t care about all that” and he is 100% lying.
Magic Johnson will die someday surrounded by his children and grandchildren.
Larry Bird will slip and fall into the frozen snow and decide, alright, that’s enough.